


caught up in the love machine

by ohgoditsbriony



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Awkward Angry Boyfriends, Homestuck!style, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-21 07:45:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2460443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohgoditsbriony/pseuds/ohgoditsbriony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are EREN JAEGER.</p><p>You're a Warrior-in-training of the Heroes Guild and you have decided it is your life goal to kill all demons, which you will definitely do, even if your insanely difficult life at Heroes Guild kills you in the process. You are a kid with a stubborn personality and clear ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES.</p><p>You are also steadily falling head-over-heels in AWKWARD ANGRY LOVE with JEAN KIRSTEIN.</p>
            </blockquote>





	caught up in the love machine

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic contains: boys being idiots, Homestuck!style formatting, swearing, fantasy elements based loosely on the basic format of every RPG game ever, swearing and fighting and snarking to substitute flirting, the absolute sassiness of every character (especially Ymir and Armin) aside from Eren, a lot of writing, boys continuing to be idiots, squint-or-you'll-miss-it canonical references, sleepovers, Mikasa and Eren's beautiful bromance, subtly and unsubtly implied cuteness between Reiner and Bertholdt, angry awkward romancing, bunk-bed buddies, loads more writing, and boys remaining idiots in love.
> 
> I don't own Attack on Titan or Homestuck; I just like to write stuff, so read (and hopefully enjoy) at your own risk!

==>BE EREN JAEGER

 

 

 

 

You are EREN JAEGER.

You’re a kid with a stubborn personality and clear ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES.

Right now, you’re PRETTY PISSED OFF, because you’ve just been reminded of the three things you _really hate_ about HEROES GUILD.

>think about the three things you really hate about heroes guild  
>and i mean _really hate_

Firstly, you don’t like YOUR BED—you’ve got top bunk, which is bad enough because the light seems to slip through the gaps in the curtains and splash directly across your face at godforsaken hours in the morning, and the mattress is weirdly soft, so that it feels like you’re sinking into it all the time, and it makes you fidget like crazy. You can never get to sleep because of it, and you haven’t been able to have a good night’s sleep in the EIGHT YEARS you’ve been at HEROES GUILD. You just lie there, twitching and turning and grumbling irritably to yourself, until eventually you feel the solid kick against the bottom of your mattress, followed by, “Seriously, would you go the fuck to bed already?”

>fuck you, that  _ hurt, _ you asshole

“Yeah, well, maybe if you didn’t wriggle about like you’ve got fucking worms or something.”

>i am going to fuck your stupid face up and i will enjoy it  _so much _

There’s scoffing laughter, and then, “I would like to see you _try.”_

>oh, it is  _ on  
_ >catapult over the side of your bunk and attempt to fuck stupid face up

Yeah, that pretty much always ends in a fight.

The SECOND THING you’re not a big fan of is all the STUDYING.

You’ve got the physical side of things down—hell, you’re actually rocking a pretty hot bod, if you do say so yourself—but who knew being a WARRIOR would mean so much _reading?_

“Who knew you could even read, anyway?”

> _who even asked you_

And the FINAL THING you hate most about HEROES GUILD; the thing you can’t stand in the slightest; the thing that never fails to make your face flush red-hot with rage, make your hands ball into fists, make a snarl rise at the back of your throat and a snappy retort leap to the tip of your tongue, well—

It’s less of a thing, per say.

It’s a thing with a stupid, smug face that you want to punch with every fibre of your being.

Okay, it’s not a thing at all, but an irritating little shit of a person.

You, Eren Jaeger, cannot fucking _stand_ THIEVES.

>be more specific

And by THIEVES—because, although you do fundamentally disagree with their life choices in every single little way, and cannot stand the sight of their smug little faces, when they’re actually the biggest bunch of cowards you’ve ever met—you don’t mean all THIEVES. Some THIEVES are alright. SASHA is a GOOD THIEF; she just steals food out of the kitchens, and sometimes she sneaks you some late at night, and sometimes she doesn’t give you any at all, but you see her and CONNIE make a pillow fort at the bottom of CONNIE’S BED and you just _know_ that pillow fort is stuffed full of delicious baked treats. MARCO is another GOOD THIEF, because he is polite and kind and mothers you a little bit; actually, you’re not sure why he’s a THIEF to begin with. You’re not sure he actually does much STEALING.

No, when you say THIEVES, you actually mean ONE THIEF IN PARTICULAR.

You are talking about _that_ SMUG BASTARD, after all.

 

 

==>BEGIN FLASHBACK

 

 

>be ten-year-old eren jaeger

You are standing at the front of the GREAT HALL.

It is the very first day of HEROES GUILD.

The ASSIGNING is about to begin.

You are excited—you can’t _wait_ to see the GUILDMASTER, or PROFESSOR LEVI, or the rest of the WARRIORS in their BLUE ROBES. You can’t _wait_ to be a WARRIOR—there’s no GUILD stronger, you’re certain of it, and maybe—just _maybe_ —if you become a WARRIOR, you’ll be able to cross the Wall and find the THING that slaughtered your MOTHER and ruined your family.

>woah, got a little lost in thought there  
>look around

ARMIN is standing by your shoulder; he looks a little pale, but that’s just because you can tell he’s nervous. You give him a REASSURING NOD and he looks a little bit better—still pretty pale. You wonder if he has low blood pressure. Across the way, MIKASA is standing in a row lined up with the rest of the girls; you feel her gaze on you constantly, and it’s both ODDLY COMFORTING and A LITTLE BIT FRIGHTENING. There’s a girl next to her talking excitedly, moving her hands a lot, but it doesn’t look like Mikasa is really listening; you catch her eye and give her a REASSURING NOD as well. Her cheeks turn a little bit pink, but otherwise she doesn’t react.

Behind you, TWO KIDS are talking loudly about HEROES GUILD.

>eavesdrop on the two kids  
>obviously

Naturally, you choose to listen in on their conversation. You are a NOSY LITTLE BUGGER, and everything is your business—even when it’s not.

The FIRST KID has a voice that makes you instantly want to PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE.

You don’t know why, but you assume he is a MASSIVE DICKFACE.

He is saying, “If you want to live a comfortable life, you join the Thief Guild, man.”

The OTHER KID is a bit more hesitant, replies, “You really think so?”

“Well, duh. You just _take_ whatever you _want_ ,” KID ONE says, “Live the high life, y’know?”

“But what about WARRIORS? I thought they helped people—”

“Oh, _please_ ,” the FIRST KID cuts across, and you are beginning to steadily HATE this kid. “Nobody wants to be a warrior anymore; with all the demons kept outside the Wall by the runes the MAGES have created, they’re pretty much OBSOLETE. No, they’re _worse_ than OBSOLETE. They’re DEMON FODDER.”

>make strangled snarling noise in the back of your throat

“Only an ABSOLUTE MORON would want to be a WARRIOR.”

>be consumed by rage

You were right in your initial assumption of this guy: he is a MASSIVE DICKFACE.

>literally what the _fuck  
_ >turn around and give this guy a piece of your mind

Man, not only does this guy sound like a COMPLETE TOOL, but he looks like one, too. He’s got this stupid haircut—all dark hair underneath, and this blonde, messy fringe on top, like he’s dyed it that way (though he will later repeatedly assure you that it’s all natural)—and a smarmy, shit-eating grin, like he actually _believes_ he’s the best thing since sliced bread, and finally spots you scowling at him, he raises an eyebrow and drawls, “Jeez, what’s this guy’s problem?”

You are going to RIP HIM APART with your WORDS.

>my problem is your _stupid face,_ you asswipe, you literally know _nothing_ about heroes guild  
>you don’t join heroes guild to live a comfortable life stealing shit off people you think are lower than you  
>you join heroes guild to be a goddamn hero  
>and the greatest hero you can be is a goddamn warrior  
>if you wanna keep living trapped in these stupid walls all your life, then fine

Woah, okay, you didn’t expect _everybody_ to be looking at you.

Maybe your voice is a little loud or something.

>i’m going to join the warriors guild and i’m going to fight for my birth right  
>for a place outside these fucking walls  
>because i don’t want to live like an animal trapped and waiting to be slaughtered until the day i die

“You… you actually _want_ to fight the demons?”

It’s the OTHER KID who’s spoken—he’s looking at you like he’s not sure whether he should be inspired by your words or whether he thinks you’re an ABSOLUTE MORON, like the FIRST KID said earlier.

The FIRST KID _is_ looking at you like you’re an ABSOLUTE MORON, though.

Man, you _really_ want to PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE.

>i’m not just going to fight them  
>i’m going to kill  _ every single last one of them _

There’s this heavy, impressed silence now.

You can’t decide whether people are IMPRESSED BY YOUR WORDS or IMPRESSED BY YOUR STUPIDITY.

Whichever’s the case, the FIRST KID doesn’t look like he’s going to reply to you any time soon. He’s actually looking at you like you’re something gross on the bottom of his shoe that he wants to discretely wipe off sometime soon, and it’s pretty clear he’s just waiting for you to turn back around so that he can roll his eyes or something, and wow, he _really_ winds you up. Actually, you think you’re pissing him off a little too. Maybe it’s something about the way his jaw is slightly clenched, or the way he keeps curling his hands into fists and then unclenching them again, but it looks like you both want to PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE FACE.

ARMIN tugs on your sleeve, because the ASSIGNING is about to begin—when you turn back around, the GUILDMASTER is walking onstage.

Behind you, the FIRST KID says, in an obvious stage-whisper, “See? What did I tell you? _DEMON FODDER.”_

 

==>END FLASHBACK

 

 

>be present-day eren jaeger

Man, you really remember why you hate JEAN KIRSTEIN with a BURNING PASSION now.

You never really got on from the start—a difference in perspectives, clearly—but that guy just knows _exactly_ how to rub you up all the wrong ways. It doesn’t help that you can’t get rid of him, either. His friends are your friends (which is mostly because of MARCO, who was the OTHER KID in YOUR FLASHBACK and, despite being deeply moved by your words, showed a NATURAL AFFINITY to THIEVING and is therefore a LOVEABLE LOST CAUSE); he shares most of your lessons with you (which he loves, because he’s just a _little_ bit better at written work than you are, though you kick his ass in the physical lessons every time); and, cruellest of all, he is your BOTTOM BUNK BUDDY.

LIFE is very clearly a MASSIVE BITCH—also, IRONY.

You’re not a BIG FAN of IRONY.

>be massively irritated  
>stab repeatedly at your food to show your clear irritation

ARMIN, who is currently sitting beside you, sighs audibly. He doesn’t look up from the runes textbook he’s reading, though.

MIKASA is watching you from across the table and can clearly see something is wrong, but HER SUPPORT is not the kind of SUPPORT you need right now.

When you finally relent and want Jean dead, you will go straight to her.

>stab at your food a little more vigorously

“Ew, gross, could you stop that,” Armin frowns, “You’re getting mash all over my sleeve.”

You stop stabbing at your food, but Armin closes his book, though.

You count this as YOUR VICTORY.

>i just. man, i  _ hate  _ that guy, like, everything  _ about  _ him  
>every  _ single thing _

“I know, ERIN, we’ve had this conversation before,” Armin says.

>then you know he’s a massive tool as well right

“Actually, I don’t think he’s THAT BAD.”

You gape at Armin, because he cannot be suggesting what you think he is. You will not allow one kind word about that DICKFACE, because, well, he’s a DICKFACE, and you don’t think there _are_ any kind words to be said about him. You’ve tried, once before. MARCO thought it might be a good cleansing activity to attempt to dispel some of the bad air between them. And you did try. You managed to say his whole name, before choking on the words in your throat and scrambling to attempt to GOUGE HIS EYES OUT—which, in your opinion, was fair enough, because he KICKED YOU IN THE SHIN first.

Right now, Armin is looking at you like you’re being UNREASONABLE, though, which is completely RIDICULOUS.

“I just think you’re being unreasonable about this,” Armin confirms.

>unreasonable??? he’s a massive  _ cock _

“If you actually _tried_ speaking to him, you might found out he’s not the bad guy you think he is, is all I’m saying.”  
  
>i honestly can’t believe this  
>armin, that guy shat on everything i hold dear to me (not literally) you can’t expect me to like him

"You're actually very similar to each other."

>what the fuck we are not similar in any goddamn way

Armin rolls his eyes and shrugs his shoulders slightly, which is ARMIN-LANGUAGE for being SO SICK OF YOUR SHIT. He shifts a little away from you, though, just in case you start attacking your food again; he’s been caught in the splash-back once before and clearly he’s learnt from his mistakes now, so it’s not going to happen again. He flips open his book again and you realise you’ve been DISMISSED.

You look beseechingly across at MIKASA for help.

She shrugs her shoulders and says, “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

>i just want somebody to agree with me!!

“I’ve already told you—if you want his body buried and never found again, then I know a place.”

That is… SURPRISINGLY UNHELPFUL and COMPLETELY UNSHOCKING.

She looks at you MEANINGFULLY once, and then returns to her noodles.

You are not going to get any help here, _clearly_ , so you resume eating your food—this time, gloomily—and make a mental note never to talk to Armin again (until you next need help with your DEMONOLOGY, which, actually, you have an essay for today that you _really_ ought to get started on).

 

 

>begin demonology  
>fuck this class though, this shit is  _ hard _

You can say that again.

>fuck this class thou

Stop.

DEMONOLOGY is really the bane of your life, though—well, except from a CERTAIN SOMEONE, but you feel like maybe you’re getting a little repetitive now. You don’t really understand why you have to memorise all the different types of DEMONS that have been spotted and studied from OUTSIDE of the WALL. You mean, _sure_ , you _guess_ it’d be nice to know what brand of DEMON you’re slicing up when you’re finally a TRUE WARRIOR, but you don’t think that’s really important. As long as you’re strong enough to slice them up, who really gives a shit, right?

…okay, you _do_ understand the importance of DEMONOLOGY.

It definitely helps if you can identify each type of DEMON, because then you can identify their WEAKNESSES, so you don’t just go charging in all guns a-blazing and end up as DEMON FODDER, like Jean said. You get that, you really do. It’s just—remembering is _hard._ You enjoy learning about all the different kinds of DEMONS, but not in the same way as PROFESSOR HANJI, who seems to want to DISSECT everything she sees. It’s a kind of sadistic enjoyment, you suppose; it’s kind of nice to learn all about your enemies before you CRUSH THEM. In the lessons, you try your best, you really do; it’s just the tests that screw you over. And the writing. You’re not so great with the writing, too. Especially when you haven’t had a chance to read over it privately.

“Oi, dumbass, does that look like a sentence to you, or do you just vomit words onto your page?”

It also happens that this is one of the many lessons you have to sit next to JEAN.

You think it’s because Professor Hanji takes pleasure out of your misfortune.

Actually, you _know_ it’s because of that—you’ve seen her pointing and laughing.

>god, you are such an  _ asshole _

“At least I’m not a brain-dead idiot, though,” Jean drawls lazily.  
  
>a brain-dead _idiot_ oh my god i hate you kirstein

You pinch the bridge of your nose, and decide that _clearly_ engaging him isn’t working.

Maybe you should try something new.

>try ignoring jean

Yeah, _maybe_ this could work. You can tell Jean's still talking, because he loves the sound of his own voice and thinks he's hilariously witty, but you just let the words wash over you; you concentrate on the page, on the textbook in front of you, and try re-reading the last passage that you just screwed up because Jean distracted you. It’s difficult, though. There’s something about toxins and anti-toxins and different kinds of poisons, and you think that maybe this DEMON shoots some kind of venomous jelly at people, but the diagram doesn’t really make any sense and the words next to it make even less sense.

You can do what you always do, and just ask ARMIN to go over it with you in the LIBRARY again—except Armin's got his extra-curricular study lessons today, hasn’t he, and he’s not back until late into the night. You’d ask MIKASA, but Mikasa is SPARRING with ANNIE today; and the next day; and the day after. The two have been SPARRING a lot, lately. You’re not sure what that’s all about. You guess there’s BERTHOLDT and REINER but, when you look over at them, you’re not sure they even realise the outside world exists; Reiner is leaning back in his chair, laughing loudly, and Bertholdt looks a little sheepish, embarrassed, an ink-stain from his pen smudged across the back of his cheek. You watch as Reiner licks his thumb and swipes it across the stain; Bertholdt's cheeks flush pink. Okay, you’re _not_ asking them. And frankly there’s no point asking SASHA and CONNIE, because, even though they’re not in your lesson right now, you _know_ they pay even less attention than you do. You swivel around in your seat, and think maybe you’ll ask CHRISTA, but YMIR is slouched across her desk, and there’s no chance of getting her attention when Ymir's already caught it.

It’s a lost cause. You’ll just have to resign yourself to your fate and FAIL.

You are mildly distracted by Jean pushing a FOLDED-UP PIECE OF PAPER onto your desk.

You are torn between OPENING THE PAPER and CONTINUING TO IGNORE JEAN.

>struggle internally with the existential dilemma those options have caused  
>give in  
>unfold the paper

Inside, Jean has written:  _Quit ignoring me, dickhead. If you were finding it that hard, you should have just said._

There’s a little PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE SMILEY-FACE scrawled at the bottom, too.

(Also, ACCIDENTAL RHYME.)

You whirl around in your seat, indignant, and scowl at him.

>i’m not finding it  _ that  _ hard, you asshole, i don’t need your help

Jean is grinning at you like you’ve just punched yourself in the face right in front of him—which you guess you kind of have, in a metaphorical sense. You were doing just fine at ignoring Jean before, and now this is HIS VICTORY, because he got you to talk to him. You groan internally. Then you groan audibly, just to express your complete annoyance at HIS CHILDISHNESS. He’s right, though, which just makes it all the worse—you _are_ finding it _that_ hard. You sneak a sidelong glance at Jean's paper, and see that it is crammed with his messy scrawl, all cursive and flowing, like he even went out of his way to be a PRETENTIOUS TWAT with his handwriting.

You are torn with another internal struggle, now; after all, Jean  _has_ just offered you HIS HELP.

You’re not sure whether it’s worth swallowing your pride, when you could stay up super late and ask ARMIN about it later.

>fuck it, whatever,  _ he  _ offered  
>besides it’s not like this has to be easy for him

You’re smiling, now, and Jean's grin falters a little at that.

You are going to make this LEAVING HELL for him.

>alright, asswipe, teach me   
>take jean's help

 

 

==>ENTER LIVING HELL

 

 

This is LIVING HELL for both of you.

The lesson has already ended, and you are both in the LIBRARY, trying to keep as quiet as possible when all you want to do is shout at each other, which pretty much just results in FRUSTRATED ANGRY WHISPERING. At the moment, JEAN is doing breathing exercises—something stupid that makes his nose flare slightly every time he breathes out, and just makes him look even _stupider_ —and you’re not that far off from just ripping the textbook in half. You’re trying your best, you really are, but every time Jean says something, it goes in one ear, registers distantly, and then just slips back out the other. You can understand what he’s saying when he’s saying it, but the moment he moves on to a new DEMON, you forget everything you learnt about the old one.

Your MEMORY is clearly SHIT WHEN IT COUNTS.

>this is stupid and you’re stupid and i am so done with this shit

You push your chair out and make to stand up, when Jean puts his hand on your shoulder and shoves you back down, forcibly enough to make you smack your knee on the table in front of you. You’re about to shove him back and see how _he_ likes it, when PETRA THE LIBRARIAN rounds the corner and fixes you with the EVIL EYE. You’re not sure how you feel about Petra. On the one hand, she’s adorably cute and she seems to like you lots, even going as far as to recommend books so as to help further your reading; on the other hand, she is GOOD FRIENDS WITH PROFESSOR LEVI and that is something to be feared. You smile at her shakily until she goes away, and then rub your knee, scowling at Jean.

>that hurt, you asswipe, what the hell was that for??

Jean isn’t looking at you—actually, he’s suddenly fixated with a spot off to the far-left—as he says, “How’re you going to be able to kill any DEMONS when you can’t tell the difference between a SLIME-GRIBBLER and a MUD-WRANGLER, let alone _all_ the DEMONS?”

>i so  _ can  
_ >the slime-gribbler’s the one with the spikes, right?

Jean blinks at you slowly and then says, “The clue was in the goddamn _name_ , Jaeger.”

>...gribbler?

“This is going to be so much harder than I thought.”

>shut up, i know that okay  
>wait

You pause, narrowing your eyes, and stare at Jean—he’s only just started being able to look at you again, but the moment you look at him like that, he sort of pales and goes back to staring determinedly at that spot on the wall.

>...i thought you said all warriors were demon fodder  
>i  _ thought  _ you thought i wasn’t going to be able to kill any demons  _ at all _ , no matter how many textbooks i memorise  
>i  _ thought _

Jean holds his hands up and cuts you off, “Okay, okay, I get it—you’ve done a lot of thinking in the past five seconds, wow. Can we just get back to what we’re supposed to be doing?”

>woah, no, you don’t just get to brush that off like it never happened, asshole!  
>you actually  _ believe in me _

“You’ve not goddamn TINKERBELL, you know, Jaeger.”

>quit the sarcastic wise-guy act and just admit it, kirstein  
>you  _ totally believe in me _

“I am going to punch you in the face.”

>no need to be shy, man  
>somebody might think you almost  _ care  _ about me

“The key word being _almost_ , asshole.”

>i’m beginning to think you might love me, kirstein

Jean clams up completely then—he actually goes a shade of ash-grey, which is kind of frightening, but whatever. You’re too busy crowing over your COMPLETE AND UTTER TRIUMPH to really notice; you’re even about ready for a VICTORY DANCE, but your knee still hurts a bit and besides, CONNIE and SASHA are much better at creating those kind of things. You’ll just explain the situation to them later, and then the three of you can do it together. Yeah, that’ll definitely have _way_ more impact than you VICTORY DANCING alone. The way you see it, a SOLITARY VICTORY DANCE is something nobody should have to see.

You’re so busy basking in your VICTORY that you almost miss what Jean says next.

“Look, _okay,_ I do think that maybe— _maybe_ —there’s a chance that you’re not just… more,” and he practically mumbles the next bit, “demon fodder.”

You’re ready to leap on that and rip Jean to shreds instantly, but you hesitate for just a fraction of a second; you actually look at JEAN’S FACE, and, although there’s resignation there, there’s also this… SOMETHING ELSE in his eyes. You can’t quite pinpoint it. It’s only there for a second, though, and then it’s gone—and you can get back to the ABSOLUTE RIPPING that Jean  _definitely_ has in store.

>aww, kirstein, you  _ do  _ care about me how  _ cute _

Jean turns bright red at that, and snaps, “I am not cute.”  
 _  
_ >are you blushing that’s _adorable_

In the DORMS, you delight in telling anyone who will listen about YOUR VICTORY over JEAN. CONNIE listens every time you tell the story, eyes wide as if he’s about to hear something new every time; and when you get to the BLUSHING, he practically _guffaws_ at the sheer hilarity of it. After a while, you begin to think maybe Connie is smarter than you give him credit for and maybe he is mocking you (after all, he is, somehow, a MAGE)—then he returns to his PILLOW FORT, and you’re not so sure. MARCO listens patiently once and then looks at Jean over your head—who is busy attempting to smother himself with a pillow, because, as he’s said, that’s better than hearing the sound of your voice (but you think he’s just EMBARRASSED)—and he looks like he knows something you don’t. REINER and BERTHOLDT listen to your story as well, and to your credit, Reiner does actually find it funny the first time; but when you won’t shut up, Reiner pins you to the bed and puts his hand over your mouth until spit a massive glob of saliva into the palm of his hand.

To retaliate, he wipes it across your cheek and then proceeds to lick a strip up the underside of your chin and over your other cheek.

“Ugh,” Jean grumbles, peering at you from beneath his pillow, “You two are idiots."

“At least I’m nobody's blushing bride,” REINER replies and winks at you pointedly.

You feel like you’re MISSING SOMETHING REALLY OBVIOUS here, but you’re not sure what.

Jean makes a strangled kind of choking noise, and disappears back underneath his pillow.

 

 

>begin hand-to-hand combat with professor levi  
>but just so you know, i think i’m entirely conflicted with how i feel about this subject

That does seem to be the case.

On the one hand, PROFESSOR LEVI is completely _AWESOME_ (with _italics_ ), and he’s kind of been a CHILDHOOD HERO of yours since as long as you can remember. You remember seeing WARRIORS returning from a trip outside of the WALL; you remember they’d had this cart covered with a white cloth, but when the wheel bumped over a rock, you caught a glimpse of the WITHERED, BLACK HAND of a DEAD DEMON and thought woah, that looks TOTALLY AWESOME; you remember seeing Levi sat atop a horse—a little shorter than imagined, sure, but whatever—without a single drop of BLACK DEMON BLOOD on him. He was like this COOL FIGURE of ABSOLUTE AWESOMENESS. You were in AWE (and a TINY BIT IN LOVE).

On the other hand, PROFESSOR LEVI likes to KICK THE SHIT out of you for no clear reason. You think that maybe it’s a little bit of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger-esque teaching, which is cool if that’s what it is and it’s steadily building up your stamina and strength, but mostly it just hurts. Even your BRUISES have BRUISES, now.

>get to the point

Also, HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT is YET ANOTHER lesson you have with JEAN.

And, because the only other person near your body type and skill is MIKASA—and okay, maybe that’s wishful thinking, because Mikasa is definitely a CERTIFIED BADASS and you’re still a BADASS IN TRAINING—you always end up paired with Jean, because Mikasa ends up paired with ANNIE. Which is actually brilliant to watch. Half the time, you look around and you see nobody is really sparring, because everybody is waiting to see which one of them will _finally_ come out as stronger and you decide you’ll watch too, and that’s _usually_ when LEVI KICKS YOU IN THE FACE.

>get closer to the point

So yeah, CONFLICTED FEELINGS, and you always end up with JEAN.

Right now, you’re practicing GRAPPLING and you’re feeling pretty damn pleased with yourself, because you’ve managed to pin Jean twice in a row now and frankly, the guy just isn’t bringing his top game to his performance today. You’re sat slightly on his thighs, your legs tucked underneath his to keep them in place—he’s got one hand squashed between his thigh and yours, trapped there, and you’ve pinned the other down by his side, leaning forwards and bringing your forearm to rest firmly against his neck like a warning.

You’re GRINNING—actually, it’s pretty similar to the SHIT-EATING GRIN that Jean usually wears.

>what’s the matter, kirstein? you  _ stuck? _

Jean shoots you the filthiest look possible then, scowl on his face, mutters, “Asshole.”

Yep, you’re _loving_ this. This, combined with YOUR SWEET, SWEET VICTORY YESTERDAY, suggests your week is getting off to a good start.

You’ve FOUGHT and GRAPPLED with Jean enough times before to know HIS TRICKS, so when he lifts his hips in an attempt to buck you off, you ignore it, because you know, without a doubt, he’ll use that as a distraction so as to try and free his legs. Sure enough, after a few seconds of bucking, he tries to bring his legs out from underneath yours, and you pin down a little tighter, watching him struggle with POORLY-CONCEILED GLEE. This is every bit as glorious as you’d hoped it would be. You are trying to figure out which GLOATING TAUNT to use next—maybe something about JEAN BEING A BITCH, since that seems suitably witty for poorly-thought out trash-talk—when JEAN stops wriggling, which is actually a little unnerving.

>you okay down there buddy?  
>look down at jean

“You know, you’re a heavy bastard,” Jean actually _growls_ , and that’s when you notice his other hand is FREE.

He’s got one hand curled in the front of your shirt before you can even attempt to stop him, and you let out an ENTIRELY MANLY SQUAWK as Jean pulls you forwards, jostling you, and then grabs you with both hands and rolls you over. It’s irritating, because Jean  _is_ taller than you and so has more length to squash you into the ground; and you end up with your knees tucked painfully against your chest, shoved forwards so that they’re wrapped somewhere around Jean's waist, and Jean's stretching the full length of his body over you, gripping both your wrists in his hands and pinning them over your head. It’s actually pretty painful, because you didn’t even know you could bend your legs this far, and okay, okay, you’re going to have to CALL UNCLE because you definitely DON’T BEND THAT WAY.

>okay okay i get it you win, ow ow ow, let me up my legs don’t bend like that  
>oi, i said let me up, you bastard  
>are you even listening to me  
> _jean _

You’re not proud of the WHINING way you say his name, because it’s EMBARRASSING, but Jean finally reacts.

He looks a bit flustered above you—his cheeks have gone a faint shade of PINK, and he seems fixated on staring at your collarbone instead of looking you in the eye.

Then all of a sudden, he snaps back to normal and leans forward, says against your ear, “Now guess who’s under _me_ instead.”

You RESIST the overwhelming urge to HEADBUTT him, purely because the last time that happened, it resulted in CONCUSSIONS for both parties involved. Instead, you let out a furious snarl and attempt to buck Jean off you, just as he had tried earlier—even if that move had been a feint—but all Jean has to do is press down a little harder with his torso onto your legs, and the dull ache of pain is enough to make you pat against the ground with your hands (even if they are still in Jean's grip) in the universal sign of time-out. Jean is having far too much fun taunting you to actually release you, which you suppose is fair enough, because you did the exact same thing when you were in Jean's position just moments ago.

>wonder if ignoring jean will work again here too  
>begin ignoring jean

Jean snarls, “No, fuck off, you don’t get to spend ages mocking me just to IGNORE ME when I do it to you.”

>keep ignoring jean

“That’s _not fair_ , you bastard!”

>keep ignoring jean

You can KEEP THIS UP ALL DAY.

“ _Jaeger,”_   Jean whines, and you look pointedly to the side as you continue ignoring him.

As you do, you spot SASHA walking past with CONNIE—her hands are stuffed full of cakes, and Connie keeps waggling his fingers over them, using some sort of spell to change the colours of each cake repeatedly. It seems to be keeping them entertained, and those cakes _do_ look TASTY. Sasha spots you looking and says, “Hey, it looks like Jean's got Eren pinned this time.” Then she pauses in her walking, and Connie very nearly bumps straight into her. She’s looking at you both like she’s trying to figure you out, and then she asks, "Does that mean it's going to be sunny tomorrow or is it rain?"

Connie glances over absently, and says, “Rain, I think. Oi, Sasha, it looks like they’re DOING IT, doesn’t it?”

 

 

“I’m _sorry_ ,” CONNIE is saying to you that night, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m _sorry!”_

>ignore his apologies  
>why isn’t brain bleach a thing yet i need to rid myself of  _ that  _ image

You are talking about, of course, the IMAGE from EARLIER.

This is the IMAGE: you are on your BACK, legs tucked around JEAN’S WAIST, hands pinned over your head; JEAN is BENT OVER YOU, bending you in half, even, slotted between your legs and it looks almost like—

>okay  _ okay  _ i was there jesus i’m trying to forget what happened  
>not remember every single fucking detail about it

You FLUSH AWKWARDLY and ANGRILY. These are AWKWARD ANGRY FEELINGS you’re not sure how to approach.

You FLOP DOWN onto a BED—which is not YOUR BED, because yours is on the top bunk, and top bunk is difficult for DRAMATIC FLOPPING—and pull the pillow over your head and _groan._ CONNIE kind of hovers next to you uselessly, but you just keep groaning so he ends up backing away slowly. Now you are SOMEBODY ELSE’S PROBLEM. It turns out the BED is MARCO’S, because he comes and sits next to you and pats your back comfortingly, but when you peek up at him from beneath the pillow, his other hand is over his mouth and his shoulders are shaking and he’s trying his best to make HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER look like COUGHING.

You groan again and half-heartedly aim a kick at his thigh.

>i’m going to take mikasa up on her offer i swear except she’s going to be burying more than one stupid body

Marco splutters then—looks torn between being frightened and laughing more—and says, “Oh, don’t be like that, Eren. It’s not our fault you and Jean are—”

>absolute sworn mortal enemies??

He’s looking at you like he feels a BIT SORRY for you.

“More like awkward angry boyfriends,” he finishes, and you bite back the SCREAM that rises in your throat.

 

 

==>BEGIN DREAM

 

 

You are wearing the BLUE CLOAK of the WARRIOR GUILD.

You think it actually looks pretty good on you, if you do say so yourself, and you take a couple of seconds just to bask in this AWESOMENESS. You’ve made it. You’ve done it. You’re finally here, and those bastards are just on the other side of the WALL, and, in a few seconds, you’ll be riding out with LEVI and MIKASA and all the other WARRIORS, and finally going to get the chance to put all your training into action and kick some DEMON BUTT. Your first proper expedition—not one of the training ones you get to do at HEROES GUILD—will take place tomorrow, and you are getting some extra crossbow practice in while you have time.

You can pinpoint the exact moment JEAN walks in, because you can practically smell the SARCASTIC PESSIMISM rolling off him in waves.

>ignore him

You don’t even acknowledge his presence—you just pretend he never even came in—but you are acutely aware of where he is in the room at every moment; it’s like every one of your senses has been heightened, and the hairs on the back of your neck are upright. You figure it’s because every time you and Jean are in a room together, it undoubtedly ends up in a fight. You’re just ready for that fight.

“Your aim still sucks balls, then, huh,” Jean says amiably, as if he isn’t insulting you.

>fuck off, kirstein i could still kick  _ your  _ ass

“I’m not the same person I was back at HEROES GUILD,” he drawls.

>you definitely  _ sound  _ like the same arrogant prick you were back then

“I could definitely show _you_ a thing or two, Jaeger,” he says; his voice has dropped an octave lower—it sounds a little scratchy, rougher, and it makes your fingertips tingle.

>lower the cross bow  
>oh yeah? i’d like to see you  _ try _

He’s behind you, and you have just enough time to drop the crossbow—unloaded, thank fuck—on the ground at your feet before you’re being dragged backwards, both of you crashing to the ground in an UNDIGNIFIED HEAP. Jean is faster to recover than you are, because of his NATURAL THIEVING AFFINITY that makes him a little bit faster than you in general, and he’s swinging a punch before you really have time to block properly; the force of it shoves you back a bit, but you duck low underneath his next one and tackle him fully, wrapping your arms around his waist and pushing your head into his belly. You hear the soft whoosh of air being knocked out of him, and he thumps uselessly at your back, but you don’t let up.

Instead, you scramble to pin his hands down, but you can only pin the one—he tangles the other in front of your shirt, trying to get purchase so that he can push you off him, but you’ve got his legs pinned underneath you and you lean forwards, heavy on top of him, so that his free hand is pinned between your chests.

You’re both BREATHING HEAVILY and Jean's face is tinged pink.

It occurs to you, all of a sudden, that he looks REALLY NICE like that.

>i guess things haven’t changed  _ that  _ much from heroes guild  
>i can still pin you every time

“Ugh, and you’re still heavy as fuck,” Jean replies, “Get off me, asshole, I can’t breathe.”

You _could_ get off Jean, you suppose, but—

>kiss jean kirstein

Um. Okay, yeah, you could do that, too.

He lets out a muffled noise of surprise against your lips, which is NICE, and then that kind of turns into a GROWL, which is ALSO NICE. He kisses like he fights you, angry and fast, a little scratch of teeth against your bottom lip and maybe just a little bit too much tongue for your liking—you kind of rock against him, rolling your hips against his experimentally, and yeah, you like that, and so does he, because you both kind of gasp against each other, a little mirrored intake of breath, so you do it again, with a little more force. That’s nice, and the KISSING is nice, and the fact it’s Jean is surprisingly nice—but the fact it’s Jean means you should’ve expected it when you suddenly find both of his hands wrapped in the front of your shirt, and then your positions are being flipped, and suddenly you’re on your back and he’s smirking over you like the COMPLETE TOOL he is.

>roll your eyes  
>literally you are so predictable, i don’t know why i bother

He ignores you in favour of leaning in close, his teeth scraping your ear, as he murmurs, “If you wanted to kiss me that bad, Jaeger, you should’ve just said.”

>it got you to shut your stupid mouth, didn’t it

Actually, you think maybe JEAN’S MOUTH isn’t so STUPID after all.

He’s currently kissing a strip down the side of your face, feather-soft against your skin, until he comes to your jaw—and you make this soft, irritated whining noise (which is hugely embarrassing, and you know Jean won’t shut up about it after, but fuck it) and tilt your head to give him space, rolling your hips up against his fiercely. Now that you think about it, you quite like the heaviness of Jean on top of you, the way you've got one leg pinned awkwardly above his thigh, the other between his, so that when he shoves his hips back down against yours, his trousers scratch at the bare of your stomach where your shirt has pulled up. You clash together again, and he responds to your invitation, sucking and nipping a strip down the length of your neck; it’s making your head spin a little, especially when he scrapes his teeth against your collarbone and then _bites_ , not hard enough to draw blood but just enough to make it hurt, and you’re wriggling one hand down in between you, scratching down his stomach with your nails, pawing at zip of his trousers, and—

 

 

==>END DREAM

 

 

You jerk upwards and feel HOT and STICKY and UNCOMFORTABLE on your bed.

You're breathing noisily, too loud for your own ears, and you're amazed no one has woken up at the sound of it.

>lean over edge of bunk bed  
>look at jean

JEAN is still asleep, thank fuck, lying on his side, clutching his pillow to his chest and curling around it like he's a drowning man. He's actually even drooling a little bit. You stare at him incredulously and cannot believe that you just had a SEXY DREAM about that MORON.

>look closely at jean

He shifts in his sleep slightly, rubbing his hand against his stomach, and you're suddenly caught by the way his shirt has ridden up a bit, stuck between his body and the pillow he's cuddling—his skin seems to shine in the darkness, and you're acutely aware of the soft scattering of hairs that are scattered beneath his naval, leading down underneath the low-slung pyjama bottoms he's wearing. It feels like you can't pull your gaze away from that bit of skin, and you swallow, the blood pounding like a drum in your ears. The more you look at it, the more you remember the feel of him pressed against you when you're wrestling, heavy and unrelenting, and the images from your dream flash vivid in your mind, and you hear CONNIE'S VOICE saying, "It looks like they're DOING IT, doesn't it?" and it's not fair, it really isn't. You wrench your gaze away and, when you look up, you see REINER is awake on the top bunk beside yours. 

Your face turns bright red, and he grins KNOWINGLY, like a shark.

He even WINKS at you.

 

 

>act normally around jean kirstein

That’s right. If you PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED, maybe it’ll all just GO AWAY.

JEAN doesn’t have to know ANYTHING. After all, it’s not like there’s any way of him finding out about the SEXY DREAM you had about him.

You haven’t even told ARMIN or MIKASA.

Except, Jean is making this hard, because for some reason Jean is acting like a complete and utter AWKWARD BASTARD around you.

In DEMONOLOGY, he sits all the way leaning to the side in his chair or something, like you smell, and he only kind of half-heartedly responds to your insults. Most of the time, he looks stubbornly down at the desk in front of him and sort of grunts at you—and when you made the mistake of actually saying his NAME that one time, he’d let out this STRANGLED WAIL, and turned to look at you with WIDE EYES and a sickly, pale hue to his skin, before pretty much SPRINTING out of the classroom when the lesson ended. In HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT, he does one of two things: he either lets you pin him within moments, lying completely still and staring solidly past your face and IGNORING YOUR TAUNTS, which is the absolute _worst_ ; or surprises you and knocks you down in seconds flat, holds you there for all of three seconds, and then rolls off you, glancing about to see if anybody has noticed. He always RUNS AWAY at the end of that lesson, too.

“Jesus, Jaeger,” LEVI says mildly, with a raised eyebrow, “What the hell have you done to that kid?”

>i... i have no idea, sir

The rest of the lessons you have together are much the same—Jean trying his hardest not to talk or even look at you, while you sit there in a PUZZLED, ANGRY sort of manner and try and figure out what exactly is going on. Whenever you try and ask anyone about it—and you've tried asking a lot of people, like ARMIN and REINER and MARCO, and you even asked ANNIE at one point, who looked at you like she was trying to figure out how exactly she knew you—they either shake their head at you or laugh.

You are beginning to think you are DEFINITELY MISSING SOMETHING.

 

 

>confront jean

You are definitely going to CONFRONT JEAN—now you just need to find the perfect time to do it.

>find the perfect time

The perfect time doesn't seem to be coming any time soon.

>be impatient

You're impatient, and near the end of the week you spot JEAN coming out of one of his THIEF SKILLS lessons. He's walking in between MARCO and YMIR and he's behaving pretty normally; he's frowning at something Marco is saying, and then rolling his eyes and replying in that dry, grating tone he has that never fails to get on your nerves. Ymir catches your eye just as you realise you've just been standing there watching Jean; she leans in to Jean's side and says something that makes him turn BRIGHT RED. He purposefully doesn't look at you as he grabs Marco by the forearm and practically drags him away. You are beginning to think maybe you smell.

Ymir watches them both go, crossing her arms behind the back of her head and stretching.

She’s grinning like she KNOWS SOMETHING YOU DON’T.

>ask ymir just exactly what is going on  
>and don’t skip out any of the details, because i am  _ so  _ confused  
>it’s like, all of a sudden jean is acting like an even weirder bastard, and i don’t get why??

A sudden thought occurs to you—maybe you DID SOMETHING.

Or worse—somehow Jean found out about the SEXY DREAM. You will have to add PSYCHIC to Jean's list of defining qualities.

>did... i do something?

Ymir is looking at you in the same way ARMIN sometimes does—fondly, like she wants to pat you on the head, but also like she’s SICK OF YOUR SHIT, which you feel is unfair, because you genuinely have no idea what is going on. She keeps looking at you for a second, and when she’s sure you’re not PRETENDING to be as oblivious as you ACTUALLY ARE, she lets out a huff of irritation and puts her hand on your head, ruffling your hair. This is something Ymir has done since you first joined HEROES GUILD and first spoke to her; she was TALLER THAN YOU then, and she’s still TALLER THAN YOU now and sure, it’s nice how some things never change, but she’s not answering your question.

You are about to REPEAT YOURSELF, except probably LOUDER this time, when she claps a hand over your mouth.

“Oi, why don’t you just ASK HIM YOURSELF, kiddo,” she rolls her eyes. “It’s not like _you_ to be shy.”

You are—you are not shy.

>splutter indignantly  
>lick the inside of ymir’s hand just to get your revenge

Okay, you should have _known_ that last idea was a BAD IDEA.

Ymir is not squeamish—you think the only girl who would actually react to having her hand licked is CHRISTA, and then she would steadily PLOT YOUR DEMISE while smiling at you sweetly—and she is also PRETTY STRONG. Not MIKASA or ANNIE levels of strong, but definitely your level of strong, and she is not afraid to FIGHT DIRTY. You’ve fought with Ymir a few times before, though she’s not usually in your class, so generally it’s just for fun—and it still comes as a surprise when she moves her leg behind the back of yours, kicking your feet out from underneath you and then following you down to the ground. She then proceeds to lift your shirt up over your head, pinning your hands there through the material, and BLOW RASPBERRIES on your stomach, which is _so fucking unfair_ , because you are one hundred percent TICKLISH. You remember she found this fact out the first time the pair of you sparred and she had you pinned to the ground, where she proceeded to TICKLE-TORTURE you to the amusement of all the people watching (including PROFESSOR LEVI, who had actually insisted Ymir continue long after everyone else had gotten bored of it).

You splutter and writhe, and you are definitely  _not_ giggling, even if you are laughing.

>okay okay i get it, quit it already let me up _  
_

You hear footsteps, and there's a long list of people you hope it isn't—tied for top are Levi, because that way it'll never end, and Hanji, because you know she wouldn't be past crossing the teacher-student boundaries just to torture you for her own pleasure—but your stomach jolts when you realise exactly who it is.

"Wow, speak of the devil," Ymir drawls lazily, "You're just the guy Jaeger wanted to talk to."

"And he's just the guy I never want to talk to," JEAN replies, but it sounds forced to you. You  _really_ wish Ymir would get off you now.

>let up already i call uncle  
>c'mon, this isn't  _ fair _

Ymir doesn't release your hands. Instead, she leans down again, and you can practically feel her smile against your stomach, wicked and sharp. Then she licks a strip slowly from beneath your navel to midway up your chest; it makes your body jolt, hips jerking upwards awkwardly, and you let out a squawk of surprise. 

Jean lets out this strangled noise from the back of his throat, says, "I literally cannot  _believe_ you."

It feels like Ymir might be going to lick you again—you can feel her breath tickling your skin, and you stiffen pre-emptively, face bright red and hidden by the fabric of your shirt—but then she's hoisted unceremoniously off you, and you feel about ready to KISS YOUR SAVIOUR, until you realise your SAVIOUR is undoubtedly JEAN, and the idea of KISSING JEAN makes your skin burn. It's a good burn, which is worrying. You will have to address that later. Right now, you scramble to pull your shirt off your face and, when you're finally free, you find yourself staring up at Jean, who is standing over you with a hand held out to help you up. You take it awkwardly and then stand opposite him awkwardly and really, there's just a lot of AWKWARDNESS. You realise Jean is still holding your hand.

>um. thanks  
>attempt to pull your hand away

Man, he's really not letting go of your hand. You don't think he's realised.

>i appreciate you acting the knight in shining armour to my damsel in distress, man, but can i have my hand back now

Jean looks as if he's about to vomit. He lets go of your hand hastily like you've burnt him, and then stuffs his hands in his pockets.

You're now standing there with one hand outstretched awkwardly, like you want a handshake.

>remember why you spoke to ymir in the first place  
>remember ymir's advice  
>ask jean yourself  
>actually, since you're here, i was wondering if there's a reason you're avoiding me like i'm diseased or something

Jean looks as if he'd like nothing better than to be swallowed up by the ground. He's also looking at you like he wishes you'd spontaneously combust.

"You  _are_ a disease," Jean says weakly, but your confused stare is unrelenting so he mumbles, "I'm not avoiding you."

>we have like eighty percent of the same lessons, kirstein, and you sit in your chair as far away from me as possible in all the seated ones  
>you might think i'm stupid, but i'm not

"I don't really think you're stupid," he replies, and his face is turning this funny shade of puce.

You think he might actually vomit. You take a wary step backwards.

>are you ill? if you're ill you should've said, i don't want to catch whatever that is  
>you're kind of turning green

Jean sort of groans and looks up at the ceiling, and you can hear Ymir laughing at you. She slings an arm around Jean's neck and drawls, "Look, I'd better save this guy from himself while he still has some of his dignity. See you around, Jaeger."

You actually hear Jean sigh with relief, which is kind of insulting. 

You are left standing alone feeling just as AWKWARD, ANGRY and CONFUSED as you were before.

 

 

>plan to sneak into mikasa's dormitory 

You both made a silent promise on the first day you got there that whenever things became rough, you'd both be there for each other. That used to mean sneaking into MIKASA'S DORMITORY in the dead of night, when you'd woken, shivering and shaking, with the image of your MOTHER'S MANGLED BODY still fresh in your mind; or you'd climb into her bed after a particularly painful session with PROFESSOR LEVI and she'd trace her fingertips soft and gentle across each bruise; and sometimes you'd climb up onto your bed and find Mikasa already there, fast asleep. Those are the nights she dreams about HER PARENTS. Most of the time, though, Mikasa just likes sneaking into your room. 

This doesn't really count as things becoming rough, you suppose, but you want to talk to her anyway. 

You've been putting off talking about the entire JEAN SITUATION with her, and you're not sure why.

>sneak out of your dorm quietly

You inch slowly off the top bunk and try to land quietly. You get your foot caught on the bottom rung, though, and land sprawled across the floor.

Jean's face appears over the edge of his bed, sleepy-eyed and bleary, and yawns, "Jesus, Jaeger, are you ever not an idiot?"

A frightening thought occurs to you: you think Jean looks CUTE like this, his hair messy from sleep and a little bit of dried drool stuck to his cheek.

>go back to sleep, asshole

He hums sleepily and lazily flips his middle-finger up at you. You stick your tongue out at him childishly.

"It is  _two in the morning_ ," MARCO hisses and flings a pillow in your general direction, "your stupid  _flirting_ can wait until _tomorrow_ _."_

You forget that Marco is THE DEVIL INCARNATE if you wake him up when he's sleeping. Jean just flips him the bird instead—which he can get away with, because he's Marco's best friend—but you mutter quick apologies and then slip out the door before anyone else can wake up. It's only when you're halfway to Mikasa's dormitory that you realise what Marco had said about your STUPID FLIRTING and your face flushes bright red. You're sure you're not FLIRTING. You're pretty sure Jean would rather spar one-on-one with PROFESSOR LEVI than flirt with you. You're still feeling embarrassed and confused—and those AWKWARD ANGRY FEELINGS have re-emerged inside you—when you slip in through Mikasa's door and very nearly trip over SASHA, where she's sprawled on the floor in a mess of blankets and pillows.

You have been in this dorm enough and known Sasha for long enough to know that she is strangely allergic to actually sleeping in her own bed.

You step over her and make sure to be extra-quiet slipping past ANNIE'S BED (because you've woken her up once before and man, it was  _not worth it),_ before climbing into bed next to Mikasa. She's got the bottom bunk, which makes these kind of trips so much easier, and she's also a notoriously light sleeper—you know she's been awake from the moment you opened the door, but she doesn't say anything for a little while. She lets you curl up behind her and you drape your arm across her stomach. Mikasa has been a steady warmth since you were both ten-years-old and now that you're both eighteen, nothing has changed. You just lie there for a little while, and then she wriggles over so that she's facing you, like she always does, and laces her fingers through yours, palms pressed together in between your chests. Her breath is warm on your cheek and her eyes almost seem to glow in the dark, and she says, softly, "Is this about Jean?"

>why would it be about that asshole??

She doesn't say anything, but there's a tiny smile playing across her lips. You should've known better than to think you could hide anything from Mikasa.

>give in  
>ugh yes okay this  _ is  _ about that asshole  
>he's just. he's being really confusing and he keeps avoiding me and marco said we were flirting and i just don't get it  
>i am so confused

You like that Mikasa lets you ramble. You lower your voice conspiratorially.

>plus i had a dream about him

"That's not that strange. I have dreams with you in them all the time."

You didn't want to have to elaborate, but you will.

>no not like that, it was a  _ sexy dream _

Mikasa looks startled for a second, and then she starts laughing. It's really quiet at first, because you can only feel her shaking against you; and then she just bursts out laughing, and it's a bright, pretty sound you haven't heard in a while, but frankly it's NOT HELPING.

>shut up it's not that funny! you'll wake annie up too, she kicked my ass last time i did that

Mikasa looks at you like you're a LOVEABLE IDIOT.

"Annie's already awake. Plus, yourvoice is louder than mine, Eren."

>it is  _ not _

"It definitely is," ANNIE says, her voice deadpan and extremely loud in the silence, "But please, keep talking about this dream. I would be absolutely  _thrilled_ to hear more."

"Seriously, Jaeger, I don't think you know what the concept of inside voice is," YMIR agrees dryly from directly above you.

"Oh, shush," CHRISTA says crossly, "He was getting to the good bit."

You are steadily turning cherry-red. You are suddenly aware of the fact that EVERY SINGLE GIRL in the room is awake.

Mikasa switches on the light. You see: Christa is peering over the edge of the bunk and she waves at you a little; Ymir is now sitting on the top rung of the ladder, because you suppose she probably sleeps in Christa's bed most nights anyway; Annie is still lying in her bed facing away from you, but is clearly awake; even SASHA has dragged her mound of blankets to nestle in between Mikasa's bed and Annie's, though she looks as though she could fall asleep at any moment. You don't know why this has happened, but all of a sudden you are the main attraction of what is clearly turning into a GIRLY SLEEPOVER. This has happened once before while you were present, and it ended in you sneaking back into your dorms as early as possible, face plastered in make-up from where Ymir had thought it'd be funny to tackle you to the ground and make you look horrifying. The temptation of fighting _and_ getting the chance to be a little girly had been too much for them; all of the girls had gotten involved. Mikasa had painted your nails like the RAINBOW. 

You should've gotten her to spar with you and talked to her then. This is going to be MORTIFYING. 

You're pretty sure if you're fast enough, you might be able to scrape up the remains of your DIGNITY and dodge past Ymir to safety.

>commence incredible escape plan  
>begin to sit up

Mikasa fixes you with THE LOOK and you know your INCREDIBLE ESCAPE PLAN will undoubtedly FAIL. You don't know what you were thinking.

She has the decency to look a little ashamed though, even as she says, "Come on, Eren, it'll be good to talk about it."

You let your head sink into your hands; you can feel your cheeks burning.

>i didn't think i'd have an  _ audience! _

"You've already accidentally told them the worst of it," Mikasa reasons.

"Woah, hold on a second," Ymir says, "he's not getting out of here until we get details on  _everything."_

"She _means_ ," Christa corrects, digging her elbow into Ymir's side, "we're your  _friends_ and we'd love to help you out with whatever problems you may have. We can only do that, though, if you tell us everything. You understand, right, Eren?"

You peek at her incredulously from between your fingers. That girl is an EVIL MASTERMIND, and she's smiling at you so sweetly anyway.

You briefly consider lying back down and ignoring them until they all get bored of you.

>look sneakily through your fingers at the girls  
>judge the situation

…what were you thinking? They  _won't_ get bored of you. You can tell by the looks on their faces: they've got you where they want you now, and you'd be best just giving up. Even  _Annie_ is interested.

Your entire face is on fire and your DIGNITY has vanished. You give in.

>tell them everything

 

 

There is almost nobody when you come down for breakfast the next day, since ARMIN seems to have given up on waiting for you and MIKASA to come down, and you flop down onto a seat anywhere, slumping onto the tabletop and attempting to spear some sausages with your teaspoon. MIKASA has the nerve to look absolutely fine. You still cannot forget the EVENTS OF LAST NIGHT. To begin with, the girls had actually been quite nice; they'd listened to you speak and actually seemed concerned, and, yes, you kept skirting around the issue of the dream, but they'd given you some sound advice (that now your sleep-deprived mind cannot remember to save its life). They'd gotten bored after a while, and it had been SASHA (who you'd sworn was asleep) who had finally brought up the topic of the SEXY DREAM again, and then it had all just gotten worse and worse. You'd had to explain—through your fingers and mumbling into the duvet slightly, because you couldn't look at any of them—every last detail of it from start to finish; when you were done, they then proceeded to chatter noisily and describe different (and sometimes FRIGHTENING) scenarios which all led to the same kind of SEXY ENDGAME.

The tips of your ears are starting to warm up just thinking about it. CHRISTA in particular had had a  _very_ vivid imagination.

"I don't think it was that bad," Mikasa says, as if she can read your thoughts. 

>they spent an hour trying to figure out whether i would be  _pitching or catching  
_ >i didn't even know that was terminology!!

You thankfully cannot remember which way Mikasa voted on that subject.

She smiles at you and puts her hand on yours across the table, says, "But at least you know what you're going to do next, right?"

You don't want to admit Mikasa is right. It would be much easier to sulk.

"And if you change your mind, I still know where we can hide the body," she finishes, and gives your hand a quick squeeze before leaving.

 

 

You have been given a lot of COLOURFUL ADVICE about how to solve your JEAN PROBLEM, but REALITY is KICKING YOUR ASS.

Aside from his sleep-fuelled interaction with you, JEAN is still avoiding you. 

Okay, admittedly, now you're receiving a little extra help that you didn't have before, but Jean can be a slippery bastard when he wants to be—seriously, he  _is_ a THIEF, you don't know why you keep forgetting that—and nothing is working. You've had YMIR winking and shoving Jean into you at inopportune moments, which usually ends with you both in a heap on the floor, but he's quicker to recover than you and he's always gone when you try and speak to him. You've had CHRISTA suggesting loudly that maybe Jean could help you with your DEMONOLOGY, because everybody else is mysteriously busy, and sure, he always agrees, but he's stiff and awkward and there's always a MARCO there as well. You've even had ANNIE helping you, which was definitely surreal; she just locked you and Jean in an empty classroom though, and you both sat there in silence until eventually PROFESSOR HANJI wandered past and let you out. Jean practically  _flew_ out of there when she did.

"Wow, you've really got that boy in a tizz," Hanji says proudly and ruffles your hair, "go get 'em, tiger."

You are wondering why your teachers know. You have a SNEAKING SUSPICION that EVERYBODY KNOWS. 

Either way, nothing you are doing is working. You are going to have to BE CRAFTY.

>be crafty

You're not the craftiest of people. You are going to have to think some more.

>think some more

It takes you a little while, but you figure out exactly how to get Jean to talk to you; you will have to bother him when he is nearly asleep.

It's not optimal, because everybody else will be there, but you figure everybody else already seems to know anyway, so you'll just have to deal with it. There's every chance Jean will PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE, too, but there's every chance of that happening pretty much all the time, so you'll take your chances. You clear the plan with MIKASA, who sort of shrugs and smiles at you. You figure that's the best response you're going to get. You're going to have to roll with it.

 

==>PUT YOUR PLAN INTO ACTION

 

 

You actually put your plan into action a little bit later than you'd expect, because PROFESSOR LEVI got you to run laps at the end of HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT for no real reason.

When you asked him how many, he'd looked at you blankly and replied, "until I say stop."

You had expected that to be a couple of hours later, because you know Levi can be a bit of a bastard to you.

What you  _didn't_ expect was for Levi to actually leave for hours, returning when the sky had turned pitch-black, and frown slightly. "You're still here, Jaeger?"

As a result, it is NEARLY MIDNIGHT when you return to your dorms. Everybody is asleep, which is good, but you are sweaty and smell really gross, which isn't so good. You could shower, you suppose, but that's just you stalling for time, and you're feeling jittery and nervous; if you don't do it now, you'll chalk it up as a failure and you won't do it at all. As a result, you cross the room quietly and stand in front of your bunk; now that you're actually about to do it, you're not sure if you can. JEAN is curled at the edge of the bed with his knees tucked against his chest, and you're not really sure what to do; you consider waking him up, but you're ninety-nine point nine percent sure that'll just piss him off.

>climb into bed with jean

Yeah, okay, you could do that. You somehow manage to climb over Jean without nudging him awake, and then you lie on your back and stare at the bottom of your bunk. Your hands are clasped awkwardly on your chest. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest.

You, uh.

You have no idea what to do now.

>panic

Oh god, what were you  _thinking._

This is a BAD IDEA. It's a really, really BAD IDEA.

Jean grumbles in his sleep—you feel him shifting on the bed beside you, like he's scratching his stomach, and then he rolls over sleepily to face you. You stare straight above you and try not to hold your breath. The moment he's still again, you'll climb back over him and escape to your own bed. That is probably the best idea you've had so far. You realise it has gone very quiet next to you, and you chance a quick glance in Jean's direction.

He is AWAKE and staring at you as if you've grown an extra head.

>keep panicking

"Jaeger," he says, slowly, speech still sleep-slurred, "this is my bed."

>wow is it?? man i've really made a mistake  
>i'll just, uh, be going now, have a good sleep  
>attempt to climb over jean

"You're an idiot," Jean mumbles, and kind of swings his leg over yours. You realise he is very barely awake—he will definitely be able to blame this on lack of sleep tomorrow.

>seriously kirstein, it was my mistake, i can just go you know, i'm literally in the bed above

He's not actually listening to you. Instead, he's wriggling closer, this warm weight against your side; it's different from lying with MIKASA, you think, because Jean feels somehow heavier, a solid block against you. You know in reality Mikasa is much stronger than Jean, but it feels kind of like it does when Jean has you pinned. He flings his arm over your chest and tucks his head in the space between your neck and shoulder, and the warmth of his breath on your skin makes you flush bright red. Your heart is absolutely pounding. You think you're still panicking a little bit. You're trying to think of the best way to untangle him from you, when he murmurs against your neck, "Quit thinking so much, you'll get wrinkles."

>jesus alright  _mum  
_ >but just so you know, i want it put on record that i tried my utmost to get out of your bed

"After you were the one who climbed in," Jean yawns, and his lips are warm against your neck.

>that was an error of judgement on my part

"Yeah, yeah," he says, and pats your chest groggily, "now shut up and sleep."

There is no way you are going to be able to sleep at all, but you try to get comfortable anyway. You realise you've tipped inwards, turning to face Jean, and you've got one arm tucked under the pillow and the other pinned between you. He nudges your leg a little with his to slot it more comfortably in place, and then you're both still. It feels like you're both breathing too loud in the stillness of the air around you; you haven't closed your eyes yet and you study what you can see of his face in the dark. It's funny how familiar he is and yet, at this distance, you're noticing things you haven't noticed before, like the slight crooked shape of his nose or the tiny furrow between his eyebrows where you can tell he's been frowning too hard. It makes warmth swell up inside you; your stomach is doing uneasy flip-flops and you think you'd very much like to KISS JEAN right now, except you're not sure this is the RIGHT TIME.

He cracks open an eye and looks at you, says, "Stop staring at me. You're creepy."

>i'm not  _staring  
_ >i'm just making observations. did you know it looks like you have one eye slightly bigger than the other

You are BEING AWKWARD. You need to stop that.

>and i really like your nose by the way. i didn't think i did before, but i do

You are STILL BEING AWKWARD. You can stop any time you feel like it.

Jean makes this little huffing laughter sound and closes his eyes again. "Goodnight, Eren."

The way he says your name in his husky, sleepy voice makes your stomach feel fuzzy.

>yeah, goodnight jean

You are going to count this as YOUR VICTORY.

 

 

>wake up

You did not plan for the MORNING AFTER. You will just have to WING IT.

You don't wake up first, which is your first mistake. Your second mistake is that you didn't take into account the state of undress JEAN had chosen to sleep in that night. Your third mistake is that you didn't take into account how much of a wriggler you are when you sleep. When you wake up, you're actually lying halfway on top of Jean; your face is squashed into the pillow beside his head, tipped in to face him, and his leg is threaded between yours, and you are fully clothed and he is, um,  _not._ He's not naked, which is a massive relief, but all he's wearing are a pair of baggy navy blue boxers (which okay, is  _pretty_ nice) and the blankets are scrunched up at the bottom of the bed. You can tell Jean has only woken up a little before you, because he is currently trying to manoeuvre his arm out from underneath your chest without waking you.

You think he is panicking a little and, when you glance sneakily at his face, you see he has gone very pale.

>pretend to be asleep

That's not going to work. Jean has seen you're awake now.

>um. good morning?

"Why are you in  _my bed,"_ he hisses at you. It doesn't seem like anyone else is awake yet.

>we had this conversation last night, kirstein  
>i  _said _ i'd move but you had to get all cuddly on my ass

Jean sounds like he's COUNTING DOWN FROM TEN in his head. He says, slowly, "Okay, yeah, I kind of remember that. I thought it was just a weird dream though."

>yeah well you were pretty insistent i didn't leave last night  
>you were like an octopus

"You need to work on your bedroom talk, Jaeger."

>i, um.   
>blush furiously

You are pretty pleased you can hide your face on this handy pillow.

Jean is trying to look at you. You can tell, because you can feel him fidgeting beneath you. "What, no snappy comeback? No witty retort?"

>it's morning, man, you know it takes me ages to start functioning properly  
>i swear, i'll be on top form  
>just give me a few seconds

"Yeah, well, you're awake enough now, so get off me."

>consider getting off jean  
>decide against it

You're not sure you want to—it  _is_ pretty warm here, after all, and you like the feel of Jean's bare skin against you. You lift your head long enough to look at the clock on the bedside table next to you and see that it is still ridiculously early in the morning, and really, you could be sleeping right now. You grumble at him—not really saying anything, just a general noise—and shift slightly so that you're not lying completely on top of him any more, but it's fairly obvious you don't actually plan on moving anywhere far. He's looking at you out of the corner of his eye, still lying rigidly on his back, and you grumble again; he sort of inches towards you a little bit then, like he's trying to be surreptitious about it, and you hook your ankle over his. Jean is very much WIDE AWAKE, so he kind of stiffens before relaxing; and you figure that means you can curl your arm around his chest and sort of manhandle him into place. He kicks you in the shin just because he can, but otherwise he lets you pull his body flush against yours, his back against your chest. You tuck your chin onto the crook of his neck, digging in just to be an ass about it, before kind of humming sleepily in his ear.

>your hair smells nice

It actually does, too. Kind of like cinnamon, and it reminds you of WINTER.

"Who are you, and what've you done with Eren?" Jean snarks lazily.

>shut up, don't be a dick when i'm giving you a compliment  
>beside you  _ do  _ smell nice

"Yeah, well, you don't. You reek."

>that's the manly smell of  _man_ , thank you very much

"You're an idiot," Jean says, and you think maybe there's a touch of fondness in his voice.

There is a COMFORTABLE SILENCE.

You realise:

>you called me _eren_

"I _do_ know what your name is," Jean replies quietly, and you think he sounds embarrassed. You can't see his face, but the tips of his ears have gone pink.

>i like it

He lets out a little huff and you feel his shoulders relax.

You decide you want to try it out too.

>say jean's name  
>jean

"What?"

>i was just trying it out

Jean huffs again and digs his elbow into your stomach to show his irritation; you wince a little bit at that and dig your fingers into the side of his ribs, and then, just like that, it's turned into a fully-fledged TUSSLE, and you're wriggling on top of him to get a better perspective from which to punch him, and he manages to knee you painfully in the groin, which puts you out of action for a good while. That is FOUL PLAY. While you're lying there feeling extremely sorry for yourself, Jean takes the opportunity to spin you around and switch your positions—which kind of makes sense, since you were never going to be a brilliant BIG SPOON considering how you're smaller than him and all—pulling you in tight against him. He pulls the blanket back up and over you, pulling it over your heads. You are ready to BITCH about how much that HURT—and what kind of asshole kicks another guy in the balls—when Jean says quietly against your ear, "I like it when you say my name too."

 

 

>be woken up

You are woken up by somebody shaking your arm, and saying, "We're going to be late if you don't wake up."

JEAN is still snoozing against the back of your head. Using your free arm, you lift the blanket up and peer up at MARCO, who blinks back down at you with poorly-concealed surprise.

>um. what time is it?

"Um," Marco repeats politely back at you, and then actually registers what you're saying. "Oh, right, um. It's just gone quarter-to-nine."

You spot REINER looking in your general direction.

>consider the merits of hiding back underneath the covers

You have left it too late. Reiner spots you and offers you a DOUBLE THUMBS-UP. You are beginning to turn bright red.

"Uh, Eren?" Marco tries hesitantly, and you realise he is still hovering awkwardly in front of you. "Can you, uh, wake Jean up for me?"

This is going to quickly become EVEN MORE AWKWARD. You're not sure you can handle this.

>sure

You can WAKE JEAN UP NICELY or GET REVENGE for that earlier kick to the groin.

You know which one you're picking.

>elbow jean in the groin  
>escape the bed and leave jean to deal with any ensuing awkwardness 

 

 

You are undoubtedly a COWARD for abandoning JEAN at such a crucial moment, but you're also late out of bed and you desperately need to shower. When you're done, you've got just enough time to sprint downstairs and snatch a rapidly-cooling bacon sandwich off the breakfast table, before catching up with ARMIN and MIKASA ready for your first lesson. Mikasa kind of side-eyes you, like she's trying to figure out whether you did it or not, and she must be pretty pleased with what she sees, because she nods once and then doesn't in any way even slightly mention it afterwards. Armin is a little OUT OF THE LOOP, but you will help loop him back in later.

Right now, you've got a RUNES STUDIES lesson with your name on it and you don't need any distractions—

>think about jean

You think about the sleepy little smile he gave you and the way his skin felt soft against your fingertips, and how his fingertips, when they brushed briefly against your chin, had felt gently calloused. 

You think about the LITTLE MOLE you didn't know he had just underneath his collarbone, and the way he doesn't snore, but sort of breathes heavily through his nose instead.

You think about the way he says your name, a little bit low and throaty, and that it sounds good in his voice.

You think about KISSING JEAN and—

You are one hundred percent sure this counts as a DISTRACTION. 

>stop thinking about jean 

You think about the natural way you seemed to slot together, almost like you do with Mikasa and Armin, but DIFFERENT too.

>stop thinking about jean

You think about the way his leg had jolted between yours briefly, not uncomfortably, and it had sent a jolt like electricity down your spine and made your head feel heavy and hot.

>stop thinking about jean

You think about how in the library, you'd said you thought Jean was beginning to love you, and how he'd gotten all flustered and—

> _stop thinking about jean _

You can't seem to stop THINKING ABOUT JEAN, which is alarming. You sincerely hope this doesn't count as PINING. All you've done is CUDDLED.

>actually, return to that last thought

You really need to make your mind up.

You go back to reminiscing about the library, when Jean had FINALLY ADMITTED that he thought you might not be the DEMON FODDER he'd always acted like you were, and you do remember saying that throwaway comment about Jean loving you, but you hadn't even thought about it then. Now you  _are_ thinking about it; and you remember the way Jean's face had suddenly turned ash-grey, and how he'd kind of floundered uselessly for words, but you'd been too busy internally celebrating your victory to notice. You think his cheeks might have turned a little pink. You're pretty sure he couldn't meet your eyes, anyway. Everything is finally beginning to make sense now—all the awkwardness, the constant avoiding, the weird noises whenever you accidentally touched him and the absolute refusal to touch you for any longer than twenty seconds at any one point. If you ever get REALLY DRUNK, you will BEGRUDGINGLY ADMIT that you and Jean have always been closer to FRENEMIES than ACTUALLY HATING EACH OTHER, but you are pretty sure your ANGRY AWKWARD FEELINGS are relatively recent.

You are NOT SO SURE how recent Jean's ANGRY AWKWARD FEELINGS are. You think they are not so recent at all.

You might have been NAPPING ON THE DESK in your RUNES STUDIES lesson when this EPIPHANY comes to you, but you jerk bolt upright and feel suitably sheepish.

>oh my god i have been  _so dense _

"You've got that right," Armin says, and then shoves his notes into your hands for you to copy. You didn't make any; you were NAPPING.

>why didn't anybody tell me

"I _said_ you were being unreasonable, didn't I? I told you Jean wasn't that bad."

>yeah but why couldn't yo  
>wait hold on a second, why does everybody always know exactly what i'm talking about without me even having to explain a thing

Armin fixes you with a look, says, "Eren, you might be hot-headed and rash, but I've known you for  _years._ Nothing you do is unpredictable any more."

>splutter indignantly

"Plus," he continues, like you haven't made a sound, "you're  _always_ talking about Jean."

 

 

The day seems to go past EXTREMELY SLOWLY just to spite you. You only have two lessons in the morning, both with ARMIN and MIKASA, but there's one lesson in the afternoon with JEAN, and your stomach is fluttering uncomfortably as you walk to it. You feel itchy and excitable. It feels like somebody has reshaped your skin or fitting uncomfortably back into a jumper you've shrunk two-sizes too small or like somebody has just dropped the BOMBSHELL on you that YOUR LIFE IS A LIE. Okay, not a  _complete_ lie, you get that—you keep replaying past conversations in your head, trying to figure out when your MUTUAL HATRED became BEGRUDGING FRIENDSHIP; you are wondering if Jean has always flushed awkwardly at things you've said; you are itching to talk to him, to DISCUSS THINGS. You really are VERY DENSE.

Jean is already sat down when you arrive. As you walk to your seat next to his, you get the queasiest feeling that you're walking underwater.

He is purposefully ignoring you when you sit down. You think he is going to be an AWKWARD BASTARD about this. 

>speak quietly  
>kirstein, you've totally had a raging hate boner for me since day one, haven't you

Jean splutters indignantly and turns to look at you with wide, startled eyes; he looks adorable. You are beginning to realise that you are a HOPELESS ROMANTIC.

"What the  _hell_ , Jaeger," he hisses, and looks around wildly, checking to see if anyone is listening, "you do remember you have no idea how loud your voice is, don't you?"

That's a fair point. CHRISTA is trying to slyly watch you out of the corner of her eye, and REINER has openly turned around in his seat to watch the proceedings. PROFESSOR HANJI gives you a THUMBS-UP. 

>don't worry about it man, everybody else already knows  
>it's time to give up on our dignity and just lay our cards out on the table

Jean looks like he's torn between PUNCHING YOU IN THE FACE and actually LISTENING TO YOU. 

You don't say anything. Instead, you lean back and look at him expectantly.  Everybody else is looking at Jean expectantly too—it'd probably be nice to let Jean do this elsewhere, but you are too CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT to even think of offering. He looks at you, then, eyes searching your face. It makes you feel bizarrely naked, which is weird because last night you two were face to face, sharing a bed, and you hadn't felt awkward then, but now it's like he's  _really_ looking at you. You're not sure what your face looks like. (When you ask Jean later, he says that you looked LOVESICK. You are not sure that is a facial expression you can pull.)

His shoulders slump and he rolls his eyes, gives in, says, "I never  _hated_ you."

>so it was just a boner then, kirstein?

Maybe you should waggle your eyebrows SUGGESTIVELY?

Jean has gone bright red, but he doesn't say anything, staring up at the ceiling and keeping his lips pointedly pursed.

You are beginning to steadily turn pink. You're finding it harder to keep looking at him, but you force yourself to. It makes your eyes water.

>decide not to waggle eyebrows suggestively  
>just so you know, this is the most awkward thing i've ever had to do

"Tell him about the sexy dream," YMIR calls out helpfully. Christa nods in agreement.

>no jesus christ, you are  _definitely  _not helping  
>and that is something that does not need to be discussed right now or ever again with you around

Jean laughs, but it comes out strangled and kind of turns into coughing midway through.

>pat jean on the back

You pat him on the back a little too vigorously with just a little too much force, and he squawks in surprise, turns to face you with a glower on his face. This is the Jean you recognise; you're beginning to steadily feel more comfortable, even though you're both still bright red, and you fall back into the familiar land of snarking at each other sarcastically. Professor Hanji clearly decides the show is over, because she flaps her hands and tells everyone to get back on with their work; and you elbow Jean a little as you do it, and he knees you underneath the table, and then you both fall into this quietness as you both pretend to work. You're actually trying to figure out where you stand from that previous conversation; you're pretty sure you're going to need a little clarification.

>um, so...?

You hook your little finger over his on the desk in front of you and then look at him. Your face is HOPEFUL.

"Christ, you're a sap, Eren," Jean grumbles, but one corner of his mouth is tugged up in a small smile. You think he looks HOPEFUL too. 

He twists his hand a little, so that his finger slots together with yours perfectly.

It makes your heart feel funny and when Professor Hanji isn't looking, you lean forwards and press a little kiss against the corner of his lips, against his smile. He flushes, embarrassed, and uses his other hand to push your face away. 

You're pretty sure that this one counts as a VICTORY FOR BOTH OF YOU.

 

 

 

 

==>BECOME ENDGAME


End file.
